am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this boner is exhausting
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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