...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
