he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize