careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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