dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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