We're like a lot better than the average bears
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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