conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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