glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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