Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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