If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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