I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
