i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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