We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
