Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
