yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
