I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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