Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
