she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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