Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
