dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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