i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
