This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
