i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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