i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
