First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize