he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
