KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
