Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
