You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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