If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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