The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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