They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
