Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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