I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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