The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
