ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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