I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
