there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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