I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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