what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
