the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
