Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
