Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
