woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
