Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
