Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
