someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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