Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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