Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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