I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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