if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
