talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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