So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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