A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
