We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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