u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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