Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
