Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
