I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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