you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
