Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
