My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
