i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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